Category Life

Stay

“Stay,” she said,
his warmth,
like fire,
engulfing her soft body.

“I love you,” she said,
her eyes peering,
at his jawline,
as she laid down,
on his shoulders.

“I love you more,” he said,
his smug smile,
assuring her,
of his return soon,
from a place of war.

“I miss you,” she said,
tears welling up
her body cold,
as she circled
her finger across his photo.

A tiny arm,
clung around her finger
in assurance,
“I love you, she said,
as she caressed,
their bundle of joy.

When Assuming Stops You from Falling in Love

There used to be a girl in office. She was happy, performed well professionally and looked beautiful. However, she felt she missed out on something and it bothered her. Yet, she mastered the art of hiding it quite well. Over the years, she had many guys hitting on her. Sadly, she didn’t like the men who sincerely liked her or she assumed that the man whom she liked just wanted to sleep with her. The fear of being vulnerable to someone, and that someone taking advantage of her vulnerability and getting emotionally attached to a person who just wanted to satisfy his sexual desire kept haunting her constantly.

I felt she believed in the old school concept of romance. She didn’t want to give someone love who didn’t believe in a relationship for the long term. Yet, she never started loving someone for the fear of being betrayed. Where does this fear begin? Is it an endless cycle of anxiety where you end up lonely?

When Sex comes into the Picture

To some having sex or losing virginity at a certain age is cool, while some like to keep it natural during the course of their relationship, but to some, the concept of losing virginity before marriage or before getting to know a person deeply is like opening the doors of hell to the devil.

She assumed men only desired sex and men desired her for sex. Her assumptions were born out of countless experiences where men weren’t civil enough to approach her the right way. She had dealt with scary experiences of dealing with men who touched her inappropriately and with a man who sexually harassed her, despite liking her and whom she knew for many years.

They say that we have to trust our gut instinct. The problem of assuming a person for who he or she is not, arises from past experiences and they keep jumping to the present, preventing the individual from finding the right person or falling in love. The gut instinct might have failed once or twice or more, making assumption as a way of judging the intent of a person.

Will she find the right one? Will her love move beyond her assumption and apprehension of the things that scare her?

Yes, she will and the right one would be lucky to have someone like her.

Married, Still Virgin [Part-01]

Adorned with jasmine and flowers, it was a scene straight out of a movie. The divine smell of the jasmine and the arousing smell of the roses, sent a wave of excitement across my body. It is no secret that a grand wedding is every woman’s dream, yet the part where you spend the night together is every woman’s longing.

Badam milk and apples, a fuel for the unending night. Unfortunately, the excitement was about to come to an end. My husband is about to leave the next day and I was on my period.

Married, still Virgin.

My Husband

A techie by the day, a dancer by passion, overseas. We love each other, yet the pain of a long distance relationship just after marriage is inevitable. Time zones differ, so does our routines. Calls are rare, occasional texting and no video calls. My longing for him, to move with him is my next dream. The visa process is tedious, expensive and involves a lot of paperwork.

There are occasional fights, most of them fueled by my in laws and he supports them. Is it because he doesn’t understand or trust me or is it because he never got a chance to understand me?

My In-laws

The best example of love-hate relationship. We all remember the time when your future in laws come visit and adore you and say a variety of sweet lines like, “We will take good care of her like our daughter.” The truth is, it’s complete bullshit. They love you, they care for you, still they cannot control you.

I am not the type who parties or spends every evening or night with my friends. I would love to talk to my in laws, but what would I talk? After all, I love spending time with my sister, cousin sisters and my grandmother. They are second in line, after my mom and dad. Is it a sin to spend time with them at least one weekend in a month?

My Desire

One might expect me to be involved with a social cause, indulge in my hobbies or hang out with my friends over the weekend. I don’t find purpose or the motivation to do that. To put it simply, my desire is awakened only when I see my husband, the bearded epitome of desire.

To be continued…

Future ‘Tense’

She fell in love with the present,
she held on to her past,
the present wanted to be her future
while,
the past promised her future.


the present let her go.
to the past,
when the present,
saw an uncertain future.

A Memory

Silent notes of brewed coffee,
steam dense, yet strained.
hazy rays through the stained glass,
the rustling sounds,
of the morning paper.

a gaze stuck on the polished wood,
shiny and happy,
yet Immobile.
biscuit crumbs scatter the table,
a new feast for the tiny ants.

A home,
never so silen
t,
missing a voice of its own
the potted soil, never dry
nor the leaves dusty.

the subtle baking aroma,
the loving shouts,
and the steps of arrival,
is a now a memory,
as you ascend,
to a happy place.

Our Mourning Song

“Half of the people lie with their lips; the other half with their tears”

Nassim Nicholas Taleb

We exchanged the loveliest of words,
in the cutest verse,
while singing out,
sweet nothings for each other.

no arguments exchanged,
nor tears left to fall,
it was a perfect phase.

we lived in the illusion of happiness,
when lies made its presence,
a barrier that never let us inside,
into a deeper understanding,
of each other.

we left each other in silence,
we never fought,
since we never sought,
to know discover the truth,
while lies were the poisoned fruit.

in separation,
depth revealed into the deepest hearts,
scouring for love,
wondering what went wrong.
lies,
they were our mourning song.